Another New Year's Eve. Not much going on for me today. Master is still in the NE, going to see His family today since He can't come home to me. This will be the first New Years since we've been together that we won't be together. That's kind of sad for me (and certainly for Him too), but Master has to work to take care of me and our children. That's the sacrifice we have to make. I guess I'll use my alone time to think about Him, our relationship, how things have developed this year, and just imagine how things will be in the coming year.
2011 was full of ups and downs for us. Master got laid off just before Christmas 2010. Thank goodness he qualified for unemployment. Between that, generosity of friends, and the money we received from the IRS, we barely made it through the first 6 months of the year. The economy has made things hard on everyone, and I really feel for the people still suffering through it. Master found a job finally at the end of May, but it required relocating. Originally Master is from the north east US, but due to life issues, ended up in the south east US. That is where He found me...typical southern redneck girl! This new job required us to move west...to Texas! I'd never even visited TX before, I had no friends or family and I was genuinely unhappy about having to go! But, needing to be with Master was more important than what I felt! We packed, we moved!
Master's first job in TX didn't last long. Don't know what happened exactly, but luckily He found a new job rather quickly. However, the new job was 2 hours away in Louisiana. Great! Now here we are living in TX, and Master has to go to LA to work 4 days a week. Didn't like that at the time, but in hindsight, I'd love to have weekends with Him back. Master had that job for a couple of months then it ended, but again we were saved by the people that hired Him originally. Their jobs picked up and wanted Him back BAD! Master is not only dominant in his personal life, He just exudes power, leadership, and great skill in His professional life. They hired Him back in a higher position, one on salary, but also one that requires a lot of travel. The travel has been really hard. It has drawn us closer in a lot of ways. We know how much we mean to each other. We know that we can't live without each other. And it brought about the change in our relationship from just Dominant/sub, to Master/slave. It also makes His visits home (about once a month) very interesting!
Because we text a lot, and because I like to keep Master's mind very actively on me, we began discussing kink and things we've both fantasized about, things we'd really like to actually try. Turns out we are perfect for each other *evil grin*. Master has a sadistic side, when He hurts someone He gets very aroused! I have a masochistic side, not into drastic things (yet), but I love it when He spanks me, I love it when He gets rough with me, and I cum all over myself when He grabs me by my throat and tells me that I belong to Him. He wants to be able to control my orgasm...I really love turning loose and giving Him complete control of me and I love the time He has to give me to train me. I love being owned, I love being used by Him sexually and otherwise, I LOVE pleasing him, I love sucking His cock, I love swallowing His cum, I love for Him to call me slut, whore, cunt (really makes me wet), and I love for Him to overpower me. He has a sort of magical control over my body. He can touch my clit, roll it around for just a few seconds, tell me to cum and I will. I never liked anal at all before Master. He's worked that one up slowly, but now I can not get enough. I want Him in my ass every chance we get. I am His horny little cum slut and He loves it. I've expressed a desire for Him to do humiliating things to me like piss on me, spit on me, spit in my mouth. I have no idea why I crave this. I've decided not to worry about why, just go with it and find my limit, if I have one. Now my next desire is to learn to deep throat Him. I've been looking it up and got a few ideas. Just need Him here to practice, and practice, and practice! ;) I want Him to be able to fuck my mouth just as hard as He does my ass and pussy. I know that would make Him happy!! Just grab a handful of hair and force His cock down my throat! Oh yeah, He'd love it! Oh, and I want to do the candle wax thing. All this we want to do, and so little time to get it done!
Next time I see Him, I will probably have to go to Him. If I could go alone without my daughter, now that would be blog worthy...hehehe! But no matter, I just need to be with Him, I crave His touch, I have to have His direction, and I must show Him my submission. Master does give me tasks while He is gone and that helps me a lot, keeps me motivated and keeps my thoughts and deeds on Him. I guess I'll never understand the mindset of a Dominant or especially not a Master. I understand wanting to have someone to do everything your demand, but D's & M's have to spend so much time training, directing, planning. It has to be exhausting. All I have to do is what He says and then wait on further instruction. I think I get the better end of the deal, but I'm oh so glad that He enjoys His position! I am thankful that He thinks of me enough to develop me into the perfect slave for Him. He's been pretty lenient on me because I'm new and learning the ropes, but I know the day is coming when He will get stricter, punishment will be harsher, and demands will become more difficult. It's ok though, it's more than ok, it's what I need, it's what I crave and His happiness and pleasure are all I want!! I'm sure He can't wait until I'm trained better so He doesn't have to spend so much time training me...but who knows, maybe that's what He likes!
So, for 2012, my resolution is to become the best slave for Master that I can. I will do my best to complete all tasks He assigns, I will always put His desires before my own, I will give myself freely and completely body, mind and soul. I will learn everything I can about His fantasies, needs and desires and work towards giving Him all of them. I will try not to whine about Him being gone so much. I will worship His body and His mind. I will regularly thank Him for training me and pushing my limits. I will try not to be bratty (He calls it being rotten)! I will be open and communicate any issues I may have so that we can work them out together. AND, hopefully, this will be the year we can get married! Hmmm, should I wear my collar with my wedding dress???
Happy New Year everyone! May you all have a prosperous and happy 2012!!
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